Saturday, May 2, 2015

I'm a baaaad blogger... Now illustrated!

Hey, look who accidentally took a break from blogging for the winter… So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d horrible at blogging. Utterly terrible. In truth, I just don’t get it. I don’t quite get why someone wants to sit at their computer and read about my life. Even if that life is currently being lived in the middle of the Gobi desert. But, I do understand that I have friends and family that want to keep tabs on me so, I’m going to start treating this like a digital journal instead of a blog. I’m sure there are some of you out there who are just itching to yell at me about semantics but what can I say? I’m an odd creature, at times. So, a quick review of the winter before we head into the spring journal.


It was cold. Seriously. That’s what I’ve got. It was really, really cold. Like, too cold to snow. Too cold to go outside without three or four layers on. So cold that the refuse in the outhouse froze solid. My home went from Tattooine to Hoth in less than in month. Except, it snows on Hoth, so I bet Hoth is warmer than Mongolia in the winter. That being said, I survived. I kept my fire going as much as possible, I kept at least two layers on almost 24/7 and I drank enough hot tea and coffee to fill a small lake. School has continued with the ups-and-downs that every teacher faces. Some students love your subject; some students would rather be anywhere else. At least most students like me enough not to be completely unbearable. I’ve only had to get really terse with my classes a few times. My younger classes learned the lesson immediately and have been remarkably well behaved since. My older classes, not so much. But, they’re almost done with this school. They’ll be going to the larger town to finish out their scholastic careers and in about a month, they’ll be done with me and they know it.


As far as the holiday season, I’ve survived both Shine Jil (New Year) and Tsagaan Sar (White Month) without too much difficulty. Many PCVs dedicate entire posts to their experiences with these major Mongolian holidays but I’ve never been much for holidays and, quite frankly, I’m still so relieved that they’re over that I don’t want to dwell on them. Maybe later I’ll put something up about them. In all likelihood, it’s be next year when they roll around again. I received some truly marvelous care packages from friends and family. I really can’t over state how much those mean to me. The goodies are wonderful, of course, but it’s the reminder of home that makes them truly marvelous. The affirmation that there are still people back there who love me and who think about me is an astounding source of comfort and courage when the truth of my situation becomes a little too much.

And I’ll be honest, there are times when the realization of what I’ve gotten myself into is daunting. Feeling like the “odd-man-out” is not an entirely new feeling for me but I have never experienced it as acutely as I have since coming to live in my little soum (village). I’m the only foreigner for miles. In some cases, I’m the only foreigner the people living here have ever seen in person. Because of this, I literally can’t walk from my ger to the store (a five minute walk) without being stared at and called out to. Fortunately, 99% of those calls have been friendly but even so, the complete inability to be anonymous is exhausting. I can’t do anything without half my soum knowing about it 30 minutes later. If there’s an event and I’m not there, everyone knows and wants to know why. If there’s an event and I go, I’m immediately on everyone’s radar and they all want me to participate somehow. As someone who walks the line between extrovert and introvert very carefully, I can’t overstate how distressing this can be. And yet, despite all the attention I get there are moments when I’m just so lonely. No amount of “Сайн уу! Амьдрал ямар байна?” (Hi! How’s life?) can make up for a conversation between two people who understand each other explicitly; without the need to translate or explain cultural norms or idioms. I am liked here, people care about me and about my well-being but there are times when I might as well be from another planet.


Despite this, however, I am mostly happy. I like teaching, I like the people I work with and my family, I like my students. I have friends, we make jokes and laugh, they try to speak English, I try to speak Mongolian, and the woman who runs the store closest to me gives me little cookies or candies every time I come to buy yogurt. Life is, for the most part, good. 


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